red red whine

slightly fucked off with my mother

she calls up yesterday and we have a chat about this and that and end up discussing baby names......which ...after all the turned up noses i received when i named my first child i VOWED NOT TO DO AGAIN...with any FUCKER.

Nobody knew baby mouses name.....until she was born....just me and S knew and the first person we told when she popped out was little B.

So, I mention one or two we are considering .....

"Oh i hate that name......I dont like that for a middle name ...it reminds me of a rancid old woman.."...says my mother last night....

"why havn't you chosen a name from my side of the family".........she continues

Really mother....i dont want your opinion...its my child .....FUCKS SAKE!

and then my sister tells me she's leathered after a bottle of red .......pissed me off for the rest of the night

brain food

Eating fish ...fucking loads of it ...like a demented sealion...thankfully ..Ive stopped wanting to hurl every 5 minutes

maybe i'm nuturing a GENIUS

having real problems with choosing a girls name ......there is just nothing that sticks ....real hard work... 3 fucking name books .....

we've got the lads name sorted ......i mean i know i am only at month 4 ...but i just CANNOT give birth and NOT have a name ready for her ......

bollox!!!!

Gloved up to the elbow and with plenty of KY

Nah!....it was all groovy

Midwife was concerned about me having 4 flights in 4 weeks, so........move around ...drink loads(thats SOFT-drinks pp....FUCK).....dont wear tight stufff.......shucks....my cat-suit!

other stuff was all normal.....had a lie down and she palpated the uterus.......thats feeling around the tummy region....Remarkably i am measuring a few inches below the belly-button.....I know this is the 3rd time for me but i dint think it was that big already ..... going to have to start thinking about removing the piercing soon....shite

So ...nope ...its not gruesome yet lovies.....i'll leave that for January when i have my home-birth

i almost forgot...heard the little heart-beat today.......10 to the dozen....

check up

Ante natal tomoz also ......just a piss check - BP - and check the fundus

(thats .....how big is the uterus today?....measurement)

update later

Queer as folk

Went to see the folks at the weekend.....a 2 hour drive away and a weekend of tension.

A long time ago ....in a reality far away...(called Xmas).... everything was shit and i was in a cold house with a cold heart .....Mum and dad were supportive to me but casualy mentioned, whenever I called, that they never wanted to speak to or see S again......

Its the first time they have seen him for 9 months.

Mum was ok ....she hugged him and said

"hiya...how you doing"

....a bit like a welcome back to the family ...I forgive you for your fuck up type thing.......

Dad ....however...didnt. He didnt speak at all really. He barely spoke to me and never uttered a word to S.

sun is shining

Went out last night for the BEST meal ever

Was amazing....

ive got so much to look forward to in the next year ....i am excited...apprehensive...hopefull....and in love

please let the sun shine on me forever ....no more clouds

.....i want you to know now.....that i'm a rainbow with you.....

keep on moving

I cant believe S has sorted out NY......i cant believe it!

I have a friend who has been a few times and she is giving me tips of stuff to see and do and the like.

God...i'll be 24 weeks pregnant when I am there.

Feeling the baby move now......had a dream it was a boy the other night...except he was wearing a dress....

?

woe

puked at yoga on thursday night............and i had forgotten the mobile...and i couldnt go home because i was on my bike........the shame.......spent the rest of the session on my back with my legs in the air

sounds filthy and erotic .......truth was i felt and looked like shite

shop til u drop

Almost passed out in fucking Primark of all bastard places on Sunday.

Felt like shit all weekend and into Monday and Tuesday so took the days off work and went to see the quack. He says low grade kidney infection .....most probably.

3 prescriptions later I'm free to go.......still feel like shit though .......

where is the love

Think brain ...THINK

Got some big dates coming up folks........

Birthday this month.....special one....33....love it.

Early September.....10 years of marriage. Fucking 10 years......to be celebrated even more so...given what we went through during Autumn/December.

Now.....i usually have gifts planned for years for S......ive planned weekends away and cool gifts and even a weekend meeting his icon Ray Mears for his 30th birthday ......

Cant think of a FUCKING thing this year ...what a bastard disaster

What the blue jesus am i going to do ?

Its all in the name

whats the probability of me having a boy after having 2 girls. ?????

One would think its 50/50......but i reckon there aint a mathematician out there that would put a bet on it.

I'm running out of girls names. They both have unusal names and I'm having a real nightmare trying to think of a name for my 3rd girl.

I have a boys name.....Ive had my boys name since 1996..........

Any ideas

Obviously Katie is far too common

smoking racket

S fell off the smoking waggon on friday.....I dont think he was planning on telling me ....but I found his fags.

OK ....so i fucking rooted through his jeans like a psycho.....

he felt like proper sh*t because we both agreed in January/February time that the entire smoking habit we had both adopted was associated with the fooling around with R and K and it wasnt us.

We both gave up smoking 10 years ago when i was pregnant with B......and I am 100% sure I do not wanted to be associated with fags.

Looks like council estate scum